TRUMP
president Donald Trump enters the room carrying a black leather briefcase under his arm, he pranced around his presidential ass for the crowd, rich’s kid ass, sitting-around-having-cocktails-meetings’ ass, it’s presstime/showtime, then he climbed the steep wooden pulpit like a giant venomous spider hunting his prey, an enormous all star american spangled banner was mounted at his back, then he left the case on the floor carefully and looked straight to the cameras and the preach began
“DEAR FELLOW AMERICANS!” he roared
“THESE… THESE ARE ROUGH TIMES” he looked tired, exhausted actually, like if he couldn’t get a good one hour straight sleep the night before “MAYBE THE ROUGHEST OF TIMES” hey, maybe the old man wasn’t wrong about this one after all, the middle east was boiling, oh boy it was, just a week ago the iranians attacked some american resources in Iraq, yesterday a plane packed with ukrainians had a suspicious emergency landing right at the outskirts of Tehran.
there still wasn’t much information available about losses but daaaaaamn he looked mad as fuck about it, the shitstorm was going to burst and things could go to hell in any moment.
“WE CANNOT, AND WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR” his big orange face was starting to turn crimson red as he spewed his dumb rhetoric at the mics (you could see the specks of spit coming out of his mouth) “THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FOR GOD’S SAKE” the old cat was getting madder and madder “YOU ALL HAVE TO LEARN SOME FUCKIN’ RESPECT FOR THIS FUCKIN’ FLAG YOU KNOW” he stopped for a second for cooling down and sipped some water from the glass on the table “ISN’T SHE BEAUTIFUL?” he grinned and pointed to the banner at his back with his right thumb, some of the journalists nodded silently
“THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT” he continued his rant pointing right at the cameras in front “AT THIS POINT I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SURE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY” he grinned again “THE AMERICAN WAY” he cleared, some nodded as the POTUS hold his arm upwards, small little palm straight like he was pledging allegiance to God himself “AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE HE TOLD ME” most of the crowd roared in applause, a few people started to look confused (foreigners I guess)
when they finally calmed down the POTUS waved his tiny hand to the government staff, like if he was calling someone, but nobody seemed to respond, he insisted, one time, two times, three times with no results, he was starting to get really pissed when someone came out from behind the curtains, a twenty something young boy, scrawny figure, wearing a suit that was too big for him, he dragged his feet towards the president with a small piece of paper in hand.
“FUCKIN FINALLY” he growled frantic, then he took the paper and tried to read it but he couldn’t because of the small writing or something so he started checking his pockets looking for his reading glasses, he couldn’t find them, he was getting mad, blind mad, his face was all red like his capillary vessels were all sprouting at the same time , a crazy dog from hell with rabies howling to the moon, then the scrawny boy came back limping and read the tiny piece paper for him
Trump then grabbed the black leather briefcase again and punched the numbers in the security lock with a cursed grin carved in his big red face “HERE WE GO” he moaned while taking a little black box from inside the case, he inspected it for a moment, then a *click* sounded and the little box was all open, after that the president of the United States of America displayed a red shiny button to the cameras and I could tell you that everybody was right on the edge of their seats, even some of the presidential staff left the room, some others were making the cross sign repeatedly while Trump lurked with the button in hand
suddenly he pointed just his middle finger right to the sky (ceiling) and roared: “THIS SHALL BE THE WILL OF GOD ALMIGHTY” some people in the room started crying “YOU KNOW WHAT IRAN? YOU ARE FIRED” his middle finger dropped like a vicious thunder and hitted the red shiny thingy that finally clicked, I guess everybody was waiting for the fireworks but nothing seemed to happen, he just stood there smiling for the cameras, in that moment everybody grabbed their phones, some made calls to the boss or family, some were checking the social networks looking for the first ripples of the madness unleashed, Trump just stood there for a minute with his big manic smile on his big red face
“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN” he roared “THREE MILLION PEOPLE WERE WIPED OUT FROM THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH”
GOD BLESS AMERICA